Let the games begin

So, unofficially, the holiday season has begun. Christmas music in stores, Christmas decorations, Christmas commercials, Christmas, Christmas, Christmas. I ducked into a Wal-Mart yesterday to use their facilities. When I was there, I remembered I needed yarn, and decided to save myself a trip. I wandered through the store and found the most ridiculous things that, I fear, will be significant pieces of the holiday game this year.

Among them was the creepy mechanical horse:



The reason it caught my eye was that as I was coming around a corner, I saw its tail swish. I thought "Oh, a big stuffed horse. Some kid must have brushed past its tail in passing."

Then it turned its head and looked right the fuck at me. I actually took a step back, it was so creepy. I could only take a quick, 15-second video with my camera. Wal-Mart (like all national chains) frowns upon in-store photography, so I had to be covert.

I can see the "neat-o" factor in the toy, but really - what does it do? I saw no evidence of it walking or doing anything remotely interesting, besides going through its pre-programmed twitching and whinnying. Turns out it's called the Fur Real Butterscotch Pony, and apparently it's been around for years. They have a whole line: Cuddling Chimp, some kittens, and even a polar bear.

All of which is a parent's way of saying, "I can't be bothered to give you unconditional love or to even hug you when you need it, so here is some fake fur and a bunch of batteries. I am giving you this in exchange for your love."

Not a new sentiment by any means, but this mechanical doll crap certainly adds an element of creepy that wasn't there before.

3 hours a day makes me a professional's professional

Strolling down Jackson in the bowels of Oak Park, I can hear the roar of the airplane overhead and the roar of the blue line behind me. To the untrained ear it's the same noise, the same roar, the same swift, onward motion.

There are subtle differences. The airplane soars over, going somewhere - running away and leaving it all behind. Just like your daydreams, or the latest love of your life. Full of escape and possibility and perky attendants, the plane has had enough and is leaving for better climes.

The el clatters along, rattling, jarring you to the bone like roller skates on old sidewalks or the fathomless pit of your soul when you realize you've made the biggest mistake of your life. The el, cranky and ornery and mean, rumbles through the night. Staying its ground. Getting the last word in.

Uke Fest

Most of the videos are up from the uke fest. See them here.

Here are some pictures that I'm putting here because I know you lazy people like to have pretty and/or interesting things to look at.

The fest was held at Legal Grounds Coffee House in Maywood. If you've ever heard of Legal Grounds, likely you've been over to that courthouse on First Avenue, which means that you and I should probably party some time. Or not, depending on whether you left a free person or all shackled up. I digress:



And two pretty shots of the river:





I had more to say, but it's time to go drink at Ed's so I'll babble at you later.

Shedd Video

Whoops - forgot to tell y'all, there's a video from the Shedd. A 4 minute collage of little Shedd snippets. I haven't figured out yet how to put music over it, so you're left with my ramblings and the squeals of children and teenagers.

Original is here.

Baby got back?

From the lovely Xian-o.

YouTube - CAKE "Love You Madly"

YouTube - CAKE "Love You Madly"



A video about Phyllis Diller, comedian, trying to pick up Jeff Smith, "Frugal Gourmet," striking out, and trying for Rick James instead.

Not really. A kind of "Iron Chef" thing with the trumpeter and drummer from Cake, which makes me want some delicious squash.

Go ahead, listen to the reviews at the end, where Phyllis says (off camera) "Will you marry me?" and try to not picture her in the throes of passion with any of the guys there.

I apologize in advance.

YouTube - Tom Waits - Elephant Beer Blues 1976 - pt 1

YouTube - Tom Waits - Elephant Beer Blues 1976 - pt 1



Tom Waits makes me want to sit back and feel sorry for myself for not filling my life with more hookers and hours in a drunk tank. When the pity party's over, I want to get up and just start walking, grabbing life by the nuts, doing whatever the hell I want and having the moxie to stand behind whatever nonsense dribbles out of my mouth. I want to come up with words that dance off my tongue and tango into the ears and hearts of those who care to listen, coming up with pithy sayings and heartbreaking characters who storm into your soul and take your imagination by storm.

But I think I'm doing some of that already, a little bit here, a little bit there, and it doesn't seem to be all it's cracked up to be.

vixy.net : Online FLV Converter : Download online videos direct to PC / iPod / PSP. It's free!

vixy.net : Online FLV Converter : Download online videos direct to PC / iPod / PSP. It's free!



Tom Waits and Bono reading Bukowski. You're welcome.

If you want this to play on your iPod or in a car on a CD, get a load of this. Don't thank me for that one, tho - thank Snackey, who got it from Slo, so thank them.

YouTube - Flea Market Montgomery - Long Version

YouTube - Flea Market Montgomery - Long Version



Get your shopping pants on! We're going to the mini mall!

OH NO!

To the fleaaaaa maaaarket!

Because I love you, here is the mp3.

Kitty Exercise

If I met these people in the street I would hell of kick them in the teeth.

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Why the hell is Anne Coulter attending the TV Land awards?

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Bongolong Land is a nice little blog about music. No, not the tripe that you read about in those shiny magazines that's force-fed to you by Pitchfork and MTV - I mean music.