Friday, June 29, 2007

But you gotta have friends

An old friend of mine recently had a baby. A week before she found out she was preggers, she broke up with the baby's father.

The baby daddy is manipulative, negligent, irresponsible and a big fan of reeling my friend in just to cast her back out again.

I went through this with my best friend in high school, I went through this with my big sister. Women staying in abusive relationships because they think either think that the really, really loves her, or she thinks she'll die an old maid if she loses him.

Folks, if this sounds like a friend that you know, let me give you a piece of advice: don't try to convince this friend that she should leave this guy for good. She won't. And on the off chance that she does, it's highly likely that she'll just latch on to another assbag. Don't bother trying to convince her, threaten her, walk away from her. It will only make her want him more.

Instead, try this: "Didn't you already tell me this story? Oh. Well, anyway, I'm pretty sure I know how this turns out. Did you see [insert a show you both like] last night?" Change the fucking subject. Let them know that their melodrama has no effect on you. Quit rewarding this fucking behavior.

If you are in a relationship where you are constantly fighting and you think your friends might be sick of hearing about it, try this: shut the fuck up. Everybody is absolutely fucking disgustingly sick of hearing how stupid you are. Why, you ask? Because it's stupid for you to stay in that situation. Just fucking stupid. There are shelters all over the fucking place. Unless you're in Sudan or someplace where they perform female gential mutilation or something, where women don't have any rights at all, then you can get out. GET OUT.

Do not stay together for the kids. Do not let this fucking moron keep treating you like shit because he is the kid's father. You are giving your child a horrid example of what love looks like, and what a real man is.

If you are afraid that your man will follow you and kill you and/or your children, and you're pretty sure he won't be stopped by some stupid restraining order, then you need to seriously look into getting help. Try for starters.

My friend isn't that bad off. I don't think her jackass baby daddy can get his shit together enough to beat up on her, on the kid. It likely just sounds like too much work for him.

My point here is, if you're that drama loving friend and you can't understand why your friends don't come by...try shutting the fuck up. That might work.

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