Thursday, November 8, 2007

Oh Mickey You're so Fine, You're So...WTF

I was getting ready for work today and I noticed the throw rug by my bed was kind of folded. No big deal, it slides around a lot. I went to straighten it out and I see something odd on it. I reach down to see wtf is on my rug, and it moves. It was a mouse. A fucking mouse snoozing in the folds of the rug by my bed.

I yelped and ran into the kitchen, emptied out a Pringles can and put it over the mouse. He wasn't moving much, but he was moving, and I was freaking out. I slid a DVD case under the rug and wrestled with the problem of throwing him off the balcony. The problem wasn't throwing the mouse - the further the better - the problem was that I wasn't fully dressed yet. I had on my blouse and skirt, but the skirt wasn't zipped up or anything. I was looking down to zip up the skirt when I noticed the rug/mouse situation. I didn't want to take my hand off the Pringles can because the mouse could easily knock it over and run.

I finally decided, fuck it - it was 5:50 in the morning, anybody on the street at that hour can't focus their eyes well enough to even notice me on the balcony, so I went for it. I threw the thing off the balcony and heard it land one story down on the sidewalk. I didn't stop to see if it scampered off, I just ran back inside and into the kitchen.

I pulled things off the shelves of the pantry at random, seeing what had been chewed into, looking for signs of droppings or a nest. There was nothing. Cereal, pasta, sugar, cake and bread mixes - all that stuff was completely intact. I think it ran in the door when the door was open last night - my hands were full and I was standing in the open doorway for a bit while I tried to put down the stuff I was carrying. Really, the only sign I could find that a mouse was in my apartment was the mouse in my apartment.

So anyway, I initially touched the mouse with the index and middle finger of my right hand. I washed my hands after I threw the mouse out, and again after I checked the pantry. And again at work. I can see now what Lady Macbeth was going on about - the feel of that mouse is still on my fingers.

Given that the mouse hardly moved when I touched it and didn't run when I ran to the kitchen for something to catch it in, I think it was injured. But I stepped right over it three times today when I went to hit the snooze button on the cell phone's alarm. And I wouldn't have noticed it if I had been putting on my skirt anywhere else in the room. I'm lucky it didn't turn and bite me, I'd be having to drag it in for rabies testing and shit.

And then on the way to work it sounded like someone threw a rock at my car, and it bounced off the roof and down the back window. I checked it when I got to work, and there are marks in the rubber seal above the back window, very uniform looking marks. I don't know if that's related to the sound I heard, but damn, what the fuck is with today?

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