Dear jackasses,

Dear jackass bikers who were just outside,

Look, I understand that loud pipes save lives. I know you're treated poorly in traffic, being constantly cut off and people almost hitting you and and assholes trying trying to share your lane (that is, the part of the lane that you're currently occupying), and running you off the road and all that. I understand that the only thing keeping some dummy SUV driver on a cell phone from hitting you is that your bike is so damn loud that they can't help but hear you over their favorite pop song.

I get it, I do, I understand.

But who the fuck are the six of you trying to save yourself from when you're parked on a nearly deserted street at 10:30 on a Sunday night? There is NOBODY around. There is NO NEED for you to run and rev your loud fucking engines for ten minutes. I was so close to being asleep, and now I'm more awake right this minute that I have been all day. You sat there taking fucking PICTURES while your bikes are running loud enough that I could feel the vibrations in the floor, and this is an old-ass concrete building that doesn't vibrate easily. You people fucking SUCK. I hope each and every one of you finds yourself blocked in to your next parking space by a fucking Hummer, the driver of which parks like an asshole and makes it impossible for you to just steer around it.

You suck.

Sincerely,
M