Wednesday, April 25, 2007

Dear Crazy Bitch,

Dear crazy bitch who was just here to get boarding passes,

I'm sure our clock that displays what time it is in Paris is wrong. I honestly don't give a shit, as I've never been to Paris and don't plan to go any time soon. People who stand around in Chicago waiting to get a boarding pass to go back to Cleveland and complain about shit like a clock that doesn't apply to their timezone are morons. Count yourself in, crazy bitch.

When I say "printing of boarding passes is complimentary," it actually IS grammatically correct. The "is" is referring to the subject, "printing," not "boarding passes." Had I said "the boarding passes is free," (minus the words "printing" and "of"), you would have been hell of right in correcting me. However, I have been editing manuscripts, term papers, etc since I was seven years old, and I know wtf I am talking about, crazy bitch.

Also, when I say "No, ma'am, we don't charge for that," a polite, "No! Really?" is okay. To say it four fucking times is quite a bit out of control. You need to settle down!

I hope your flight is grounded for weather today, crazy lady. I hope it's grounded for weather and you are stuck in the airport and a sweaty man with uncontrollable bowels seems to sit down next to you where ever you go.

Holy shit, you make me want to throw things.


1 comment:

Anonymous said...

There is nothing better in this world than a Meg post that starts with 'Dear Crazy Bitch'.
I'm a total fan.