Thursday, May 3, 2007

Dear bold business man,

Dear asshole who was just here (no, not win32k.sys, as it would appear that win32k.sys is always here...this is a different asshole),

Look, the business center opens at 7:00. When you saw me at 6:50 and asked me about the business center, I tried really, really hard to smile and said, "Oh, we usually open at 7:00, but today I can open a few minutes early. I just need to run these reports upstairs, I'll be back downstairs in five minutes, tops."

You agreed, asshole. You agreed that this plan was okay with you. So imagine my suprise, ire and frustration when I came back from taking those reports upstairs to find that you were sitting at my fucking desk fucking with programs on my desktop, and peeking under my desk into my open purse! You are a fucking MORON, you asshole, to a degree so elevated that I can't even find words for it. How dare you just waltz into a private, closed office and just avail yourself of whatever you find there? What if I had run into Gloria, a housekeeper who is always very nice to me, and stopped to chat with her? Would you have availed yourself of my purse as well? Asshole.

Dear the guy who turned me down for a date and let me sit there feeling like a moron for what felt like ages before fessing up that it's because you're in renal failure and not some inherent malfunction that you found in me,

Are you related to some guy who is staying at the hotel where I work? Because I think I just met your dad.

Is it rude to call a guy with renal failure an asshole? Because I would imagine that that subject is kind of sensitive.


Dear the people who keep trying to psychoanalyze me now that I've quit smoking,

I am not meaner than I was last week. I am no more snarky, rude, petulant or obnoxious than I was when I was smoking 30 cigarettes a day. Your continued insistence that I am more rude now that I'm done smoking is kind of insulting, like maybe I wasn't making it clear how much I dislike you back when I was smoking.

Note to self: while it is important to let the people you love know that you love them, it is apparently equally important to let the people you dislike know that you dislike them.

Good to know.


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