Tuesday, May 8, 2007

Dear egotistical alcoholic,

Dear my mom's boss,

You fucker. You told me I wouldn't have to fix your book until the end of May, after my finals. Then, out of nowhere, you drop it in my lap the first week of finals, which also happens to be my week off. You jackass. Get your shit together! You're ruining my vacation, my finals, my sanity, and my relationship with my mom.

I'm never working for you again. You are unstable, egotistical, and incredibly boring. You don't pay me enough to fix your books. I'm the only one of my mom's kids who has never asked you for help financially, so you can feel free to fuck right off. My siblings can suck up to you, but I pay my own fucking bills and I don't need your stress. I swore to myself I was done dealing with alcoholics years ago, and you sir are no longer an exception.

The only thing keeping me from calling you right now and telling you about yourself is my mom. I love her dearly, and if you don't quit treating her like shit you'll find a slew of representatives from the IRS, Bar Association, and OSHA raining down on you like so many pellets of hail.

ps Your wife is probably cheating on you, and you smell like old people.


1 comment:

barryweber said...

You say what we all want to say from time to time, and brilliantly!