Dear the teenagers who would not get the fuck out of the way on the el platform today,
Look, I didn't mean to push you. Honestly, I didn't, but the train was RIGHT THERE and you were SAUNTERING. I said, "Excuse me, please, excuse me, I'm trying to catch the train," and you didn't even turn around. So yeah, I pushed you the fuck out of the way.
Not hard, though. Don't the rest of you go judging me. Just enough to get her the fuck out of the way. She had to wait for the rest of her class (on their way to Millenium Park, from what I gathered when I was waiting for them to figure out how to buy el cards so I could buy my el card), so she didn't need to get on that el anyhow.
Damn kids today.
Sincerely,
M
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